A teenage misnomer, but funny just the same

So, for all my sexually active readers I finally have a post! I told you that it was coming (no pun intended). We've all heard (maybe some even experienced) about the guys who use the line that they are 'going to explode' if they don't Get It On. Personally, I know how they feel but don't know where the 'blue ball' terminology came from, or how it even translates. Well, I now have the answer! I would like to take credit for this discovery, but it was not me. Dr. Jeffrey Kaufman (they're all doctors, didn't you know?), President of the American Association of Clinical Urologists had something to say about this. Take a read.

'Infamously, a man can experience dull pain in the pelvis when a sexual act is cut short prior to climax. The condition known medically as pelvic venous engorgement: “As the male body prepares for orgasm, one of the physiologic parameters is the increase of blood flow in the pelvis. When you’re stimulated to the point that you should be reaching orgasm—and, for whatever reason, you’re prevented from reaching it—there is pelvic engorgement of the blood vessels in the pelvis.”
That fullness in the veins leads to the ache. Contrary to what one may have guessed based on a schoolyard education, the pain doesn’t result from backed-up seminal fluid in the testicles (in fact, the testes are responsible for only about 1 percent of the ejaculate’s makeup). So why would testes in such a state be referred to as “blue” in the vernacular? Maybe they’re just sad.'

For all the dudes out there, Don't Be Sad.

Elixir of Life

You ever wonder what it would taste like if you took a handful of fresh green grass, put it into your mouth, and began to chew? And not quickly like you were trying to just get it down, but slowly, savoring the essence of the grass? Well, I can’t say that I have ever really wondered about that or ever even wanted to try it. But I can imagine it.

You see, I’m a big fan of green tea. It’s great! Green tea originated in China and has become associated with many of the cultures in Asia. Green tea is different from black tea in that it comes solely from the leaves of Camellia sinensis, which have undergone minimal oxidation during processing. In contrast, black tea is stronger in flavor and caffeine due to its higher oxidation level. The oxidation process usually occurs in a temperature and humidity controlled environment. This is actually referred to as ‘fermentation’, although nothing actually ferments. The quality of the final tea product dictates the extent of oxidation that is required. As mentioned above, since green tea does not go through the fermentation process it has a milder flavor and a lower caffeine content (approx. 1/3 that of a similar volume of coffee). Consequently, the flavor is more delicate and usually will not retain its potency beyond one year, whereas black tea will retain its potency for several years.

My apologies, I digress. Anyway, green tea is high in antioxidants (good for you) and is believed to help lower your chances of heart disease and developing certain types of cancer [1]. Did you know that in China and Japan alone over 30 different types of green tea are commercially produced? Amazing! So, you know I like green tea. Well, I must have had a lower tier tea today. The hotel that I’m staying at (name removed to protect the ignorant) had green tea bags available at breakfast. In anticipation, I placed the bag into a cup and submerged it with a steaming mixer. After a few minutes of steeping, I took my first sip. WO! Not a good first impression. I finished the cup just the same. But I believe that I now have a better appreciation for ‘good’ green tea and how it would taste to steep a large handful of grass in a cup of water and drink it for refreshment. I’ll leave the grass to the cows.

First Class or Media Mail?

From the first time that I heard Ben Gibbard’s vocals on The Postal Service's “Such Great Heights”, I was entranced. However, it was only recently that I was able to put two and two together. Ben Gibbard is also the lead vocal for Death Cab for Cutie. It is no surprise that I also am a Death Cab fan. However, I have to attribute my knowledge of their existence to my wife; she has a brilliant musical mind. At first taste, I was addicted. As with any artist, Postal Service is not without their skeletons.

In 2004, the United States Postal Service sent the band a cease and desist letter, citing its trademark on the phrase "postal service". After negotiations, the USPS relented, allowing the band use of the trademark in exchange for promotional efforts on behalf of the USPS and a performance at its annual National Executive Conference. Additionally, the USPS website sells the band's CDs. In 2007, "Such Great Heights" appeared in the background of the "Whiteboard" advertising campaign for one of the federal establishment's private competitors, the United Parcel Service.

In January 2006, Josh Melnick and Xander Charity, who had produced the "Such Great Heights" music video, created a commercial for Apple Computer (now Apple Inc.) and Intel using similar footage. While strikingly similar to the music video, the commercial did not contain imagery of the band or a recording of its music. On January 19, 2006, Gibbard stated on the band's website, "It has recently come to our attention that Apple Computers' new television commercial for the Intel chip features a shot-for-shot recreation of our video for 'Such Great Heights' made by the same filmmakers responsible for the original. We did not approve this commercialization and are extremely disappointed with both parties that this was executed without our consultation or consent." The band did not take legal action against Apple or the filmmakers.

This band is just another prime example of artistic talent that not only is U.S. originated, but straight from the heart of Seattle.

Blood, Sex, Rock 'n Roll

So a big couple of days! First let me start with my little girl. Yesterday was her first day of kindergarten. Now, let me tell you that she loves school. No, really! This is her third year in some sort of formal schooling. Granted the other two were forms of preschool, but none the less she craves knowledge. She loves to find out how things work and of course why. She also has a passion for wanting to experience different things. I believe this comes from her mom. My wife is an exciting person to be around. She always has a different take on people, events, and life in general. It is one of the things that I love about her, and my little girl too. So, she had a full-day of kindergarten and was totally cool about it! I do have to admit that from what my wife tells me, she was a little stressed out about the whole change in routine. But she took it like a rock star. Cute, organized (again thanks to my wife), and energetic. I'm glad that you loved your first day, sweetie. I hope that you have many more just like it. Daddy.

Now, to the blood. So my sensitive readers may want to look away for a moment. But I guess since you are reading this that won't really help. Oh well. So I am in Los Alamos, NM this week. For those who aren't familiar it is where the first atomic bomb was designed and built. Yeah, it's that cool and scary. The national laboratories are still functioning, but no longer open to the public for tours. Not since 9/11. The elevation here is above 7500 ft! So today, I'm at work and feel a little light-headed after lunch. I head for the washroom. No kidding, as soon as I opened the door I had a gushing bleeding nose! Not just a dribble, drop, or run but all out gushing. Immediately, the sleeve and front of my dress shirt were spotted with the marks of life. It didn't stop either. I went through probably half a roll of toilet paper. You ever had a bleeding wound or nose that didn't seem to stop in a timely manner and you think to yourself 'I'm going to bleed to death'? Well, this wasn't one of those moments. But it did bleed for a while. Once I had it under control, I had to wash my shirt. Fortunately, no one noticed that my shirt was significantly wet when I reentered the room. But would they really notice, even if I wasn't wearing pants? I don't think so. The funny thing about blood, at least mine, is the smell. It almost has an iron smell to it. You know, the smell of like light rust. The same smell you sense if you suck on a penny. Not that I've done that, but that's what I hear. Don't bleed if you don't have to.

Now for the sex. Yes, I know that you have been reading this whole post waiting for this moment. What juicy detail is he going to write about? A recent fling, incident, or mishap? No. Sorry, no sex here. But it worked so nice into the title that I couldn't just leave it out. Don't be disappointed. Maybe next time.

Do you have what it takes to be a fish?

Recently, I shared a story about a small boy whose passion in life was to go fishing with his father. Many a Saturday mornings in the summer did they wake up early, load their car, and head to that perfect spot on the river that no one else knew about. The fish were always there resting in the deep pools along the banks. Within a few short hours, they would catch their limit. This was summer to this young boy. It was the one thing that he could depend upon. Unfortunately, while this boy was still a child, his father died. We do not know how or why. His childhood was difficult after that. His mother devastated and unable to give him the attention and security that he had once felt from his father.

Now what about those fish? A fish's life span isn't that long, in human terms. They erupt from tiny eggs and are immediately on their own. They only have their instinct to guide them. I think that for this very reason fish tend to live in schools. This feeling of community and belonging helps them to make decisions. After all, the computing power of a fishes brain is not that strong. Their goal in life is to eat. When they can and as much as they can. Second, is to spawn. This is a common drive among all living species. If it were not so, they would quickly become extinct. This desire to spawn is so strong and ingrained in some fish that they will travel to the site of their own birth to lay their eggs. Often times to their own personal endangerment and death. We should also mention the hazards that they face in daily life. Many animals (including larger fish) eat fish as a staple in their diet. So there is this constant fear of being snatched up from above the surface and made a meal of. Then there is the trickery. What you think is a floating worm, eggs, or a fly on the surface of the water is actually a trap. Humans have for as long as time is recorded enjoyed fish as a source of protein. I have to admit that I enjoy fish whether it be a well barbecued salmon steak or a delicately rolled slice of fish in a sushi roll. I don't know if I have what it takes to be a fish. At least not one that survives to spawn over several seasons.

I'm not an idiot, I just play one in the show called 'My Life'

You ever wonder when you’ve had a bad day if it could get any worse? I know that I have. I guess that it’s just human nature to have those feelings of despair when everything seems to be going different from what you had planned. I myself am a control nut. I don’t admit it proudly, for it has cost me and those I love the most pain and undue suffering. What is control? It is a most intriguing topic. I believe that control is having the ability to make things happen according to one’s own will. This may be simple things like deciding what to wear, or which friend to talk to today. Other choices may be what to study in school, what job to have, or where to live. These decisions are sometimes difficult to make for oneself, let alone when other people are affected.

Relationships pose additional complexity to the world of control. Two people used to making decisions for themselves often with no one to answer to are asked to operate in the same environment. This can have both good and bad results. If one of the parties is less assertive, then decisions are made according to the will of the dominate party. Likewise, if two less assertive parties come together good decisions are not easy to come by as neither party is willing to make much effort. On the other hand, if one party is more assertive, then their way tends to be ‘the way’. If you put two more assertive parties together, they most likely will fight because each thinks that the other is undermining them and taking control away.

When two people love each other and decide to join their lives, there is compromise between them. It is not possible for both to live as they previously did in harmony. Sacrifices must be made on both sides as to the bigger decisions that affect both of their lives. This type of sacrifice and compromise is an ongoing process that cultivates your relationship and brings you closer together. But this sharing of control takes effort. You must consciously make the effort everyday. I think this is where I have gone wrong. You see, in my twisted little upbringing relationships were never as they are ‘supposed to be’. Consequently, once I found and married my wife I took her for granted. No man should ever make that mistake.

I am currently reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (I thoroughly recommend it). A certain passage struck me today as I was reading it. Let me quote, “You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it’s going to rise tomorrow. When people are dedicated to [anything], it’s always because these [things] are in doubt.” This totally makes sense to me. I had the foolish assumption that my relationship with my wife would always be there and that I didn’t need to work to keep it well maintained. Now I’m not saying that we should all live in fear that our relationships are going to fall apart. But simply that we should all treat our relationships as something fragile, perhaps even a growing thing. You would never pot a plant and then forget to water it, place it in the sun, and periodically fertilize and cut its leaves would you? Of course not. Neither should we think it permissible to stop showing little acts of affection and respect to our significant others. Let them know that we love and appreciate them, and above all share control over what happens in both of your lives. And if they love you, they will reciprocate those things back to you. Don’t be an idiot.

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby Right Round

Life is an enigma. We are born, we live, and then we die. All that is important to us happens between the born and die. Is life difficult? I think so. We are posed with so many decisions that it can be daunting to make any choice. What will be the outcome? What will be the rewards and/or consequences? Who else will be affected? This is how we live. Not in fear but cognizant. However, every once in a while we stray from our normal patterns. We do something that doesn’t fit our M. O. Are we no longer who we think we are? Are we a different person? I’d like to think not. I’d like to think that we have just made a decision that will enable us to learn and grow from the choice that we have made. A famous saying comes to mind, ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.’ Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that easy? I think that it can be at times. If you are willing to put yourself out there and make the effort to squeeze the lemons, add the sugar and water, and stir it all together you can have lemonade. Let us all make lemonade! Felicitaciones!